I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
