Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
