I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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