Got a toothbrush?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
