Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
