I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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