i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
