The maid of honor just puked.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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