I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
