i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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