I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You took a bar mat shot.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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