Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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