Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
