One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We got so high we made milksteak
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
