It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
