I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
