So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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