For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
