"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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