Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
