We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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