the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
