I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
