I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
