At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
