My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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