last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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