i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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