you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
