just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
