problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
