it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
