I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize