i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Welp...herpes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
