He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
