my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i think i just lost a toe
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize