Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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