i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
