Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
