we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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