The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
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Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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