ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
