I just threw up on my dentist
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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