It's like a parade of train wrecks.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
