felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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