Got a toothbrush?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
