don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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