No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
