I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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