So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
