I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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