the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
