Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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