Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
