I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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