I think I am morally bankrupt
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
