its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
